When one-third of dating apps users have never met their online partner for a date, one can’t help but wonder how the disruption of swipe culture has affected how people engage in intimacy, more specifically long-term or committed relationships. This topic will examine how the structures of relationships have adapted with new communal dating spaces and what to consider when imagining the future of online dating programs.
Online dating became a revolution ever since it began, however, like every coin has another side, so is the internet dating. Online dating presents some serious side effects in the society, which result in disasters if society does not do something about it. It is imperative to understand how online dating can impact your life, routine habits, and time management. Before even going deeper into details, passionate online daters should understand the negative side effects before looking for a partner online. For newcomers, it is an amazing, innovative and unmatched experience which instantly attracts their attention. However, you can end up in a bad company; someone can easily mislead you, individuals can even exploit you which create mistrust in the society (Csikszentmihalyi, 2014).
To start with, extensive online dating turns into an addiction easily that wastes precious time that should be spent on social activities that can get you a partner. People who are involved in the online relationship are prone to forget everything else while they spend a lot of time in their computers and smartphones almost the entire day; such activities do not only affect their daily work but how they socialize with their peers and their health as well. Staying online for long periods makes them to skipping meals and having less sleep time and shunning their responsibilities. These people tend to drift away from friends and family which leads to drastic mood swings. The worst comes when they have an issue with their computer or cannot access the internet, they become frustrated and turn the anger to people close to them (Finkel, Eastwick, Karney, Reis, & Sprecher, 2012).
With the emergence of dating apps online there has been a drastic change in how most of us are getting our partners and certainly what people are looking for. For example, let’s look at the dating app Tinder. The app lets an individual to search for a person in their locality looking to date or any other activity intended. A recent video I showed a cross-section of people asked to utilize Tinder to get people whom they can go a date with. Respondents were found to be optimistic about life when they used the app to search for partners. They cited online dating to more like a game. If you meet an individual who does not like you, then you move on to the next one. They indicate that the apps help them to find the right partner, but according to studies, this erodes the morality in the society since a person can have several partners within a short period of time (Lampe, Ellison, & Steinfield, 2007).
A recent study of involving 1,000 online daters around US and United Kingdom carried out by global research agency known as Opinion Matters found out very interesting statistics. More than 53% of US users admitted to have put wrong information on their online dating profile (Yurchisin, Watchravesringkan, & McCabe, 2007). The reports revealed women seemingly lied more compared to men, with the majority of dishonesties based on looks. More than 20% of women used photos of themselves being younger. However, men were more honest with their information. Their greatest common fabrications revolved around the individual financial situation, especially, about being in a better job (financially stable) than what actually they are. Over 40% of men admitted that they lied about their financial status, but the same tactic was also used approximately a third of women.
A major problem associated with online dating and relationships for women is that, even though there are honest relationship-seeking individuals on these sites, there are also several guys out there simply looking for sex. While majority people can agree that on normal circumstances men are more addicted to sex than women, it looks that several men assume that if a woman is on online dating apps, she is interested in having sex with relative strangers(Lampe, Ellison, & Steinfield, 2007). Therefore Online dating does not actually represent the opportuneness of people being able to meet partners that perhaps they never would have if they did not go online, but women must be aware that they possibly will receive disgusting / rude/messages from sexual propositions, horny guys, dishonest men, and all that creepy vibe.
Revealing online dating scam
Let us be honest; the internet dating is actually a super elaborate and refined farce aimed at distracting people from being conned and forced into relationships by people they meet in the streets. There have been several cases where both men and women have been conned online in the name of dating. Recently, young people in the united states have been recruited into terrorist organization by individuals whom they have met online. What does this do to the society? All these negative effects of online dating come back to haunt the society at long last. People who have been conned can decide to revenge by conning other unsuspecting individuals online. The terrorist actions that have been committed by people recruited online through dating apps have caused severe damage in the society(Henry & Barraket, 2008).
Online Relationships do not last
It not a wonder that more than half of all individuals who utilize online dating apps have never really gone on a true date with persons they met with online, those people that somehow manage to find an individual who is willing to marry and settle down (a vanishingly small number online daters) endure an uphill battle before they can trust each other. According to a study carried out at Michigan State University, relationships/dates that stem out online are 30% more likely to fail in during the first year, than in situations where relationships started when couples initially met face-to-face. This even gets worse. Individual who met on online dating apps are nearly three times likely to get into a divorce compared to couples who first met face-to-face (Ellison, Heino, & Gibbs, 2009).
Online dating increases the risk of meeting with a dishonest individual who posted a profile with a dating app only to scam unsuspecting members, implying to them that they are in need of help with promises to loving them back if they cooperate. Most of the online scammers have noted that the majority of the people who use online dating apps are lonely and miserable and they are an easy prey or target to be exploited. What does this do to the society? The society ends up with depressed people who are full of range. Some sites also charge membership fees that are renewed either monthly or annually. However, it is not a guarantee that you must get a partner online. This also takes a toll on an individual financial stability by spending a lot of money paying for dating apps and precious time that should be diverted elsewhere (Henry & Barraket, 2008).
The positive side
However, not everything is negative with online dating. Sometimes it offers several benefits too. Online dating apps provide a wide range of men and women where single people can meet. With several profiles already shared online, it becomes possible to narrow down your search to find a partner according to your needs. An individual is able to communicate and learn a few things about their dream date even before physically meeting them. There are several online dating apps that people should take advantage of if they have failed to get a partner. This increases the chances of people meeting their partner. Online dating has proved to retain the dying art of exchanging love letters by adopting a modern way of expressing feeling through the internet (Ellison, Heino, & Gibbs, 2009). This adds a sweet mystery into the dating/ relationship arena which prompts people to prefer online dating relationship/ courting before arranging to meet their date personally. This seems to be the trend in the future.
Internet dating has become a big revolution when it comes to relationships. Several people now have met their other half online, and successful relationships have been formed. However, a lot of negative side effects have also been created by online dating. People have been scammed online while others have even been recruited into the terrorist organization through online dating. The society has been greatly affected by this new trend that has come with dating apps. Social activities where people used to meet and socialize are now dwindling slowly. People are becoming lazy because of the amount of time spent online. There are several cases of depressed people as a result of online dating frustrations. As much as online dating is connecting people, it should be done in a controlled way to preserve the bonds that keep the society together.
Ellison, N., Heino, R., & Gibbs, J. (2009). Managing impressions online: Self-presentation processes in the online dating environment. Journal of computer-mediated communication, 11(2), 415-441.
Yurchisin, J., Watchravesringkan, K., & McCabe, D. B. (2007). An exploration of identity re-creation in the context of internet dating. Social Behavior and Personality: an international journal, 33(8), 735-750.
Henry-Waring, M., & Barraket, J. (2008). Dating & intimacy in the 21 st century: The use of online dating sites in Australia. International Journal of Emerging Technologies & Society, 6(1).
Lampe, C. A., Ellison, N., & Steinfield, C. (2007, April). A familiar face (book): profile elements as signals in an online social network. In Proceedings of the SIGCHI conference on Human factors in computing systems (pp. 435-444). ACM.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2014). Society, culture, and person: A systems view of creativity. In The Systems Model of Creativity(pp. 47-61). Springer, Dordrecht.
Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating: A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3-66.